A little story of hope and resilience
Siya was not going to let it happen again. She had already
let is happen on five earlier occasions and not again! She would not subject
herself to another night or regretting, another week of ‘wish I could have done
it another way’ and another lifetime of ‘what if’. She was not going to let it
happen all over again! She braced herself, breathed hard and sat in the taxi
with her guitar. There was a lot of traffic. New York was at its vibrant best.
People bustled around, looking happy and excited. Fashionistas
walked around in their best attire, matching clothes with shoes, brilliant in
their makeup and the know-how of latest trends from Paris to Milan. Kids jumped
around in their summer best, with ice creams and candies, looking into shops
and at people passing around with curiosity. Office crowds scuttled around, on
lunch breaks, coffee breaks, giving interviews, gossiping, anxious or confident
as the case may be.
Siya looked at everybody and they all looked more confident
than how she was feeling from inside. She again reminded herself that looks can
be deceptive. May be they were as nervous as she was, may be they also needed
somebody to hold their hand, may be they also wished they were under a blanket
right now. She checked her watch. There was another hour to go for the
audition. She counted slowly from one to twenty.
When Riya had passed five years ago from the Trinity school
of music, everybody had stared with their eyes open wide. She was the star of
her class, the underdog, the prodigy. When she played the guitar, everybody
stopped and just listened. When she composed a song, people begged for her to
play it to them. And mostly she would.
She didn’t know what had happened in the ensuing five years.
She had given up offers to teach because she wanted to pursue her music for
herself, she wanted to be a true artist. She had refused small gigs because she
wanted to make it big, she didn’t want to spend her life singing in little
bistros and cafes. She had said no to bands that wanted to make her a part of
their troupe, because she did not believe in their vision or thought they were
not good enough or just thought she should wait for something better.
Now it had been five years.
Five years of doing pretty much nothing. All money had run
out. She was living on loans from her parents for over a year because New York
was an expensive place. Her confidence had shaken so much already that it
surprised her. She did not want to get in touch with her college contacts
because they would think of her as a loser. People would think that passing out
from such a big college would automatically make anybody a star but they did
not know that the world welcomes technologists much more than it welcomed
artists.
The last four auditions Siya had been so full of anxiety and
nervousness that she had fumbled and missed her beat. She had been politely
told that they were looking for something else. Then she had spent sleepless
night replaying the music in her mind. She had started thinking that Trinity
was a fluke, and she actually had no talent.
Suddenly the car braked. There was an old woman trying to
cross the road very slowly. What was she doing! She is not supposed to be here
in the middle of the road like this! Siya was shocked. But then she observed
the resilience of the old woman. Slowly and steadily she crossed the road, and
soon was off on her journey. The cab driver started driving again. Suddenly it
came to Siya. She was not this apologetic nervous person. She was brave and
resilient. She was the personification of music. She smiled and knew today they
would say something very different to her after the audition.
image from pixabay
Comments